Hi! I’m Michael “Grubes” Gruber, board operator for BaD Radio and The Hardline on Sportsradio 1310 The Ticket. MDIT has asked me to write a guest column on the fascinating world of drop artistry, and I hope to provide a better idea of how it all works in this column.
The Ticket uses a digital audio editing/playback program called “Enco DadPro32″, or “enco” as we call it on-air. It is Windows-driven and holds a maximum of 99,999 audio cuts on a massive hard drive. This includes commercials, music and, of course, drops. All cuts can be accessed instantaneously by either hitting an assigned button or a keyword search. We use a touch-screen system, but enco is also mouse-capable.
There are three touch-screens the size of a standard computer screen at the board-op position, one to the board-ops left and two directly in front of the board-op. The setup to the left holds the commercial playlist as well as cuts standard to every show such as station promos, the Ticker tease “stinger” and music bed, etc. This setup has drops too, but they tend to be more generic such as Norm drops or various sound effects.
Update:

Photo courtesy of Grubes, courtesy of Stephen from grubesismyleader.com.
The majority of drops are played from the screens in front of the board-op. This setup holds the show-specific arrays of drops. For example, I have separate arrays for BaD Radio, Why Today Doesn’t Suck, and the Hardline. On this setup I have 480 drops available at the touch…that sounds like a lot but trust me, with as much audio as the station uses, it’s not! As you can see in the picture, I can “flip a page” to access drops. Each page holds a different category of drops such as host drops, sound effects, movie/TV drops, and, of course, more Norm drops.
As opposed to the prevailing theory, all drops are played in real time. That’s why you will hear the occasional panic if a board-op isn’t following along with the show! There is no “script” and while hosts or producers will call for certain drops, it’s generally on the board-op to follow along with the show and try to figure out what drops could be relevant to the discussion (i.e. the “stupid b@$%#” drop that got us in trouble with the Kansas City Royals…I was Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone). And to add to the fun, you can have the greatest drop ready to go, but if it’s not timed right you are guaranteed to stop things down. It’s incredibly rewarding to play a well-timed drop but, like anything, the missed opportunities are what you remember more!
Some day the station will catch on to my incompetence and bring in a real board-op, but until then I’m gonna enjoy the hell out of having the best job in the world!
About the Author
Michael “Grubes” Gruber is a Board Op for Dallas radio’s 1310 The Ticket. Grubes’ fame stems from his adornment of being a master of drops - the clever (and some less than clever) bits of audio that sprinkle sports commentary with just the right amount of inappropriateness and immaturity.
mpp1 said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 8:10
GRUBES IS MY HERO!
bmoney said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 8:18
But I assume you have to know where each drop is (what page and where on the page) and what drops you have to be able to play them “live.” Is that right?
jonathan said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 8:29
is there anything better than inserting drops into conversations with friends/associates just to determine if they’re P1s or not? if it’s a P1, there’s an instant connection and discussion on grubes’ genius, if it’s not a P1, the friendship suddenly seems less important.
matt said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 8:54
one of the happiest days of my life was when my wife began to recognize the “skart skulling bahz” bit, and responding with “THE ANUS!!?!??” Just greatness. Like a secret language.
romogrexual said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 9:21
I would like to see a list of grube’s favorite drops to play or maybe a “top 10 drops” entry. any chance of that happening? i lost it this morning listening to the musers replay pranks on barb smith, i know grubes has to have some magic up that sleeve of his.
Grubes said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 10:17
bmoney: Yes, I do have to know where the drops are on the page or how to search for them if not on the page. Kind of just goes hand-in-hand with knowing the setup, equipment, etc. Hope that makes sense!
Natrone Means said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 10:36
im guessing that if the ticket knew that through this website, they had come across the Texas Tech Bell Whacker, that he would probably get a spot on that fantasy interview thing they’re doing…just saying.
MDIT said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 13:19
Grubes, what does a typical day look like for you?
jonathan said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 13:26
if we’re allowed to submit “questians” for grubes, here’s one: how long did it take and what was the process of going from spare ty walker-esque status to becoming legendary mcgruber?
Grubes said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 14:28
MDIT: I usually get into the station around 10:30-11:00ish so I can edit audio, put together the BaD Radio open, etc. I take over the board after the 11:50 Ticker ends and am on the board til Mike closes out the show at 7:05ish.
Jonathan: To start off, I’ve been a p1 since 1999. Lucked into an internship with Norm in June 2002. Started running the board on weekends in October 2003 and double-tracked interning and the board til I “quit” interning in July 2004. Working 7 days a week as a full-time student my freshman year (Fall 2003) nearly killed me. When Psycho Dave got fired from BaD Radio and the Hardline in October 2004, I took over BaD Radio and Justin Neeley took over the Hardline. When Justin left in August 2006, I took over the Hardline and became a full-time employee. Somehow still employed and every day is fun as hell!
mpp1 said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 16:17
Grubes: If you had hiring and firing capabalities, who at The Ticket would you fire? Chris House?
Gravypan said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 16:43
I think I’ve learned enough about Grubes job that I’m going to apply for his job.
Now where’s the Cumulus Jobs posting board?
Sideshow Bob said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 16:44
I have such incredible damn damn man love for Grubes. I never thought anyone would ever surpass the legendary Expo as the greatest board op of all time, but MacGruber has done it!
GREAT SUCCESS!!!
Sideshow Bob
http://sideshowblog.wordpress.com
Grubes on Grubes « Sideshow Blog said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 16:47
[...] Read it here. [...]
CWW said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 18:15
Grubes is pure genius. His George DeJohn work alone should earn him some radio awards, then there is the genius of isolating Doyle King and making him part of the show. I could go on and on with all the aspects of his work that I appreciate, but we’re all lucky to have Grubes in our lives. Keep up the good work, Grubes!
MDIT said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 18:34
Gagreed CWW. He’s genius and that’s why I needed to hear more of him. I’m glad the entire Hardline audience got to hear what Grubes does.
gerry dorsey said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 19:15
freakin’ genius. i wasn’t aware of your site until i heard the segment on the hardline today. you will immediately be blogrolled. keep up the good work.
all hail grubes!!
George DeJohn Pranks Grubes | The Unofficial Ticket Blog said on Thursday, July 3, 2008, 19:31
[...] Hardline today read a MacGruber blog post that he write for a sports blog. They wanted him to write about ‘drops’ and how he [...]
corn said on Friday, July 4, 2008, 10:08
grubes wears a merkin
obiwon said on Friday, July 4, 2008, 10:48
blow me up, dawg! love the little glance behind the curtain. your drops are definitely a big part of the “great success” of ticket presentations.
baby arm.
MBR said on Wednesday, July 9, 2008, 18:07
Grubes, what is the best perk of working at the ticket?
Grubes said on Wednesday, July 9, 2008, 18:08
MBR: The best perk is knowing I’m gonna laugh my ass off for 7 hours a day. The occasional free drink isn’t bad, either. :)
san antonio p1 said on Saturday, July 12, 2008, 22:48
you are the best. my wife hates it but only because you are so perfectly timed with all drops. does keep it up and stay hard mean the same?
Mike in Duncanville said on Friday, October 24, 2008, 14:45
my favorite is titled enewshate “its enews all day with Corby I am so sick of you snake IM OUT!”
Michael said on Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 23:32
The Hard Line is a great show. I love everyone on it. But time after time, when I find myself laughing, it’s usually because of some drop that starts off the whole debacle. You’re sense of timing is such greatness. And rarely do I think to myself, “he is overusing that drop.” Seems like an easy job. But I know for a fact I could not do it as well as you do. All hail Grubes.
Lovfldx said on Monday, November 24, 2008, 11:58
hey grubes, my son was at Jesuit when you were there but i think 2 years behind you. Baby arm!